Mujaddarah When You Can't Even

Almost a year since my last post? Really? Wow. Time flies when you're.. well, when shit happens. Can we agree 2014 never happened? Cooking-wise, the last fiscal quarter sure didn't happen; from Thanksgiving till New Year's I pretty much lived on cereal and pumpkin pie. My New Year's pseudo-resolution is to get an effing grip and get back to making Food-with-a-capital-F.

But, as my Inner Brat constantly reminds me, it's JANUARY. Getting Inner Brat to agree to expend any mental or physical energy before the Spring Equinox is a lot like dragging a screaming toddler through a grocery store. (That's not even really hyperbole. It really is that exhausting.)

How to break the deadlock of me vs. me? I discovered a great way to force the issue: Hit myself square in the checkbook, because I am cheap. I stopped by Trader Joe's this morning and forced myself to pay money for stuff I swore I'd never buy prepared because it's so easy and inexpensive to make. Yikes, it really stung! But if Inner Brat balks at cooking staples that usually cost me pennies, then I am going to buy them cooked until she recants. Trader Joe's frozen brown rice and ready-to-eat lentils to the rescue.

I took this in 2012, no lie.
I did the onions separately that time.

So, mujarddarah? WTF is that? It's a potential comfort food for us rice 'n' bean lovers; just lentils, brown rice, and a whole mess of super-caramelized onions. Super simple, way greater than the sum of its parts. Sure, it's carb-rich, but it's a better choice than, say, cereal and/or pumpkin pie.

The shopping list is ridiculously short: Onions (I buy frozen chopped now. Yes, I am that lazy), lentils (the little green ones, aka French green lentils, work best), and brown rice. If you're feeling the veggie love, add a couple of carrots and a handful of chopped spinach. Spices are your call, but I like cumin and smoked paprika. If you buy the three main ingredients frozen/pre-cooked, you can have this put together before Inner Brat realizes she ain't gettin' Lucky Charms OR Costco pumpkin pie tonight.

Google mujaddarah (or m'jaddarah) and you'll find a butt-ton of recipes with innumerable variations, but the one point of agreement is the heavily-caramelized onions. The lentils and rice, no matter how exquisitely spiced, ain't nothing without those onions.

Mujaddarah (for When You Can't Even)
Adapted from: everyone, mainly this one
Makes: 2-4 servings
Takes: < 30 mins with precooked rice and lentils

Ingredients
1 to 2 cups sliced or chopped onion (frozen is fine)
2 cups cooked brown rice
2 cups cooked lentils (preferably French green)
1 Tblsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
Olive oil
Salt and ground black pepper
Water
1 cup chopped carrot (optional)
A handful or two of chopped fresh spinach, or even an equivalent amount of frozen chopped spinach (optional)

Method
Heat a non-stick skillet (large enough to hold 4+ cups with room to spare) over med. heat. When hot, add a tablespoon or two of olive oil and the onions, sprinkle with a little salt. Spread them out in a uniform layer and turn the heat down a bit so they can cook slowly without constant attention.  Stir occasionally while you do other things.

Chop the carrots and spinach, if using. If the lentils and/or rice are chilled or frozen, nuke them in the microwave to get them to at least room temperature. If using carrots, add them and a little more salt when the onions are mostly cooked through, stir to combine, then spread out in a uniform layer. Let the onions (and carrots) cook slowly as long as you can. At a minimum, the carrots should be cooked through and the onions should have some good brown edges. If you have the time and patience, let them go until the onions are really soft and caramelized.

When you can no longer stand the suspense, bump the heat back to med., add the spices to the onions (and carrots), and stir to combine. Clear a spot in the center of the pan and add another tablespoon or two of olive oil, add the lentils, rice, 1/2 cup water, some more salt, and spinach (if using). Stir to combine. If the mixture doesn't seem to have enough liquid to allow it to heat through without scorching, add another 1/4-1/2 cup water. If you added spinach, remember that it will release some liquid. Partially cover the skillet, lower the heat to med. low, and heat the mixture through as long as you can, stirring occasionally, for at least 10 minutes. Add ground black pepper and more salt, if needed.

If it's dinner for one, good luck trying to eat no more than half of it in one sitting.

Is it authentic? No. Is it satisfying? Oh hell yes. Most importantly, Inner Brat is eating real food, although she may get Lucky Charms for dessert. Just a little. Small steps.

Dangerous Knowledge

There is some things a person should not be able to make at home at 8pm on a Saturday night. This is one of them. I am not responsible for what you do with this recipe. Especially if you drop a couple of these in a mug of hot milk with some extra sugar. I know NOTHING.

Photo courtesy of Hannah

Honey Jack Bittersweet Truffles

Ingredients

8 oz (1/2 lb) bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
2-3 Tblsp Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey or liqueur of choice (opt.)
High-quality dutch process cocoa powder or powdered sugar for coating (opt.)

Method

Place finely chopped chocolate in a glass or ceramic bowl. Heat heavy cream just to boiling in a small pan or in the microwave. Immediately pour cream over chopped chocolate, cover bowl with lid or a piece of aluminum foil. Let sit for 10 minutes or so, or until chocolate is melted.

Once chocolate is melted, add the liqueur and slowly whisk the cream and melted chocolate together till smooth. Cover bowl and place in fridge for a couple of hours until set. If you can.

Scoop the solid ganache (yes, that's what you just made) approx. 2 Tblsp at a time onto a lined sheet pan. If it's warm and the ganache starts to melt, place the pan in the fridge and let the ganache re-solidify before proceeding.

Roll the scoops into balls, then roll the balls in the cocoa powder, or powdered sugar, or anything else you can think of. If you don't want to coat them -- like, say, if you doubt they'll be around long enough to warrant the extra attention -- you can wrap them individually in plastic wrap.

Like I said, I know NOTHING. You're on your own.

Wow, that was a year! Also, ginger.

Whelp, as you can see, the Year of Beans & Rice project didn't go quite as planned. I did have an excuse: A week after my last post, I subbed for a bass player in a local band, which led to playing bass in another band, which led to A BOYFRIEND! And we're even still together, almost ten months later. Who knew that leaving my couch could have such extensive repercussions?

Between that, and the fact that I am now the "weekend parent" and only have to cook for the boy a couple times a month, I spent much of 2013 not-cooking, a situation I am slowly trying to rectify. It's going to be painful -- I am so very used to not-cooking -- but there are several compelling reasons *cough* financial *cough* to nut up and get back in the kitchen.

This pic is from David Lebovit's blog.
Isn't it gorgeous?

To start off the new year (and hopefully new habits) I gotta share what I made yesterday. I was home sick from work and through some random combination of firing neurons and a questionable stomach, I decided to make ginger tea from the ginger root I had in the freezer*. First attempt was lackluster, but a little more searching turned up David Lebovitz's recipe for Fresh Ginger Syrup.

David Lebovitz has never let me down, and the perfect combination of just enough ginger on hand and way too much free time led to success. The only tricky part was determining when it was reduced enough. Next time I'll measure the depth of the water in the pan with a bamboo skewer and mark the halfway point to use as a gauge.

So far I've only used it to sweeten cups of green tea, and it's brilliant. I want to try it in sparkling water and in hot lemonade, but I have a feeling it's not going to last long enough for me to go buy lemons. I blame the virus, not my complete lack of self-control. :)

Long story way short, if you like ginger, this is well worth a try.

 *NOTE: Oh yes, you can keep whole ginger root in the freezer for a LONG time in a freezer-weight zip-top bag.

Müceddere: Rice Pilaf with Onions and Stuff

Can't believe February is halfway over already. I'd best get something posted! I hope two posts per month doesn't turn out to be an overly optimistic goal. That would be embarrassing.

Mmmmm... Müceddere!

This recipe is a newcomer to my bean-and-rice repertoire. I've not cooked much Middle Eastern cuisine, and I've been pleased to discover some very tasty offerings, especially lentil dishes. Lentils are lovely because they (usually) take way less than half an hour to cook.

And that brings up a point I am learning (the hard way, as usual) about beans. If you are cooking dried beans/legumes/whatever, the stated cooking time is a suggestion, a rough guess at best. I think Those Who Write Recipes put a number down because it would be silly to say the cooking time is anywhere from an hour to a day, which, in some cases, isn't far from the truth.

You may be thinking, "But why so variable? It's just a bean. How hard can it be?" Ha! That is exactly the point: How hard (read: old) is your bean?

I am not a bean scholar, but the age of a bean can affect its cooking time, even with as tiny a morsel as a lentil. Unfortunately, there might be no way to know how old that bag of lentils in the store is. Older beans are drier and they take longer to cook. That's one of the reasons bean recipes usually direct you to soak beans overnight, to level the playing field.

Long story short, Know Your Lentils. When uncorking a new bag of lentils, allow plenty of time to cook that first batch. Let them simmer 15 mins. then start checking. Make sure there is no crunchy stuff left in the middle before calling them done. Store the rest of the bag in a sealed container. Lentils are usually exempted from the pre-soaking requirement, but if you find your lentils take much longer to cook than advertised, pre-soak those bad boys next time.

Coincidentally, last night on America's Test Kitchen I happened to catch the last few minutes of some bean-cooking tips, just in time for this post! Brining beans (soaking in salt water) is supposed to be even better than soaking in plain water. I must try that.

Recipe? Oh yes, the recipe. There is a recipe, I promise. Couple of notes: This is relatively simple, seasoning-wise, so the caramelized onions, cumin, and smoked paprika are key. You can't go wrong with more onions or cumin. Be sure to see the note at the end about slicing onions.

Müceddere: Rice Pilaf with Onions, Lentils, Chickpeas, and Orzo
Adapted from this recipe
Makes: 2-4 servings
Takes: 45 mins., depending on how cooperative the lentils and onions are.

Ingredients

2 cups cooked brown rice, warmed

1/4 cup lentils (preferably green)
1/4 cup orzo pasta

2-4 Tblsp oil
1.5 cups sliced onion* (1 med. lrg.)
2 tsp sugar
1 Tblsp lemon juice
Salt & black pepper, to taste

1 - 15 oz can chickpeas, drained
1 - 15 oz can's worth of tomato products (diced, crushed, sauce, or a combo)
1 Tblsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 cup chopped cilantro or parsley (opt.)

Method

Add the lentils to 2 cups water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer until they are just about done, 15 mins. in a perfect world. Add the orzo and some salt, bring to a boil, and cook for about 8 more mins., or until the orzo is just done. Drain and set aside.

Heat the oil in a med. saucepan (I use a deep 12" skillet) over med. heat. Add the onions, sugar, a 1/4 tsp of salt, and black pepper to taste. Cover the pan and sweat the onions over med. low heat until they're tender, about 5 minutes. Remove the lid, turn the heat to med., and stir in the lemon juice. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are golden brown. Moderate heat for a longer time produces better results. If you need to raise the heat to get them done NOW, just don't let them dry out, scorch, or burn.

When everything is ready, stir the rice, lentils, orzo and chickpeas into the onions. Add the tomatoes, cumin, smoked paprika, and salt to taste. Mix well. Add a couple Tblsp of water, cover the pan, and let warm through over med. low heat for at least 15 mins. Stir occasionally, don't let it scorch.

Top with chopped cilantro or parsley if desired.

Copyright 2012 America's Test Kitchen

* Random Food Tip 

This is another trick I just learned from America's Test Kitchen. If you're cutting onions to caramelize for onion soup or a dish such as this, slice them pole-to-pole (end to end) instead of crosswise (around the equator). They will be shorter and prevent the sensation of trying to eat really long, stringy noodles.

It amazes me that after cooking for decades, I can still see or read a tip that is so obvious it really makes me wonder why the hell I didn't already know that. This onion tip was one. At some point I'll show you what I just learned about vegetable peelers. That was a real "D'oh!" moment.

Oh, I almost forgot...
Enjoy!

Red Beans and Rice

This is the one that started it all, the very first beans and rice recipe I ever made.

I didn't grow up eating beans and rice, unless you count the Taco Bell that opened up between my house and the high school in the mid 1970s. I'm sure that was my first encounter with refried beans, since the closest thing we had to Mexican food at home was the Ortega box dinner with the hard taco shells and pouch of 'taco seasoning.' Hey, it was Central Indiana. What can I say, other than I loved the heck out of it (and Taco Bell, too.)

Red beans and rice. Very nice!

The first time I ate anything resembling real beans and rice was probably in the 1990s. Somewhere around that time I picked up this recipe. I've been working off the same index card (in my illegible scrawl) so long that I can't remember where this recipe came from or when I first made it. But it's been a family favorite for at least 20 years. I think that 's a good sign.

When this recipe first went into heavy dinner rotation, there was a shop in town that made divine garlic and fennel sausage. It was perfect in this dish! These days I'm pretty much stuck with the ubiquitous Johnsonville sweet Italian, but if I add some extra garlic and crushed fennel seeds, it comes pretty darned close.

Disclaimer: Just so you know, this is not supposed to be an authentic recipe of any regional or ethnic cuisine. It's a simple recipe that everyone in my house will eat, and I can get it on the table in less than an hour under ideal circumstances.

Red Beans and Rice
Makes: 2 - 4 servings
Time: 45 - 60 mins. depending on how fast you can chop and how long you can let it simmer.

Ingredients:

Cooked brown rice

1 lb Italian-style sausage, removed from casing (see note)
1 Tblsp oil
1 cup onion, diced
1 cup celery, diced
1 cup bell peppers*, diced (your choice of colors)
1/2 cup carrot, diced (opt.)
1 Tblsp garlic, minced/crushed
1 Tblsp ground cumin
1.5 cups chicken stock or water
1 - 14.5 oz can red or pink beans, drained (see note)
1 - 14.5 oz can diced or crushed tomatoes (don't drain)
2 Tblsp tomato paste
2 bay leaves
1 tsp crushed fennel seeds (opt.)
1+ Tblsp Worcestershire sauce (use more instead of adding salt)
1 tsp garlic powder (opt., if your sausage isn't garlicky enough)

Ground black pepper, to taste
Hot sauce, crushed red pepper flakes, or Asian chili garlic sauce to taste (see note)

Note: You can tweak the proportions of sausage and beans. When I was in full Flexitarian mode, I cut the sausage as low as 1/4 lb and added another can of beans. As for heat, add crushed red pepper flakes with the rest of the seasonings, but if using hot sauce or chili garlic paste, wait until the mixture has cooked down to preferred thickness, then add to taste.

Method:

Cook sausage in 1 Tblsp oil over medium heat until the pink is gone and it's nice and crumbly. Leave as much of the the grease in the pan as  you want.

Add the onions, celery, peppers, carrots, and garlic; cook until everything is really softened and starts to caramelize. The finer you chop your vegs, the faster this will go. Stir in the cumin and cook for a few seconds until you can really smell it.

Add 1.5 cups chicken stock, beans, tomatoes, tomato paste, and remaining seasonings; heat to boiling then reduce to a simmer. Add more stock/water if needed so it can gently simmer, uncovered, until the tomatoes are broken down and the "sauce" is about as thick as heavy cream, at least 20-30 mins. Longer is better.

Serve over warm brown rice.

As with most liquidous dishes that require simmering, it is always better the next day. Freezes and defrosts very well.

*Random Food Tip:

I buy the bags of frozen mixed bell pepper strips instead of fresh bell peppers. (I pick out the green ones because I hate them, but don't tell, ok?) I started this behavior some years back when the price of bell peppers was ridiculously high, and I never got around to doing another cost comparison. I love having bell peppers available at all times, though, so I doubt I'll go back to fresh anytime soon.

Enjoy!

A Year of Beans and Rice: Intro

Howdy, y'alls! It's been awhile, I know. If it's any consolation, I think of you often but I have a hard time putting virtual pen to paper. Believe me, it's not you, it's me. But I'm sure you've heard that line before.

ENNY-hooze, I eat a lot of beans and rice. They're cheap, it's easy to keep the main ingredients on hand, and I can usually get the meal on the table in less than 45 minutes if I have frozen cooked (brown) rice on hand (see below.) I have a short attention span and my main motivation to cook is to eat (as quickly as possible) something that qualifies are real food and tastes good, and most anything made with already-cooked rice and canned beans is going to meet that criteria. As a bonus, leftovers can (usually) be frozen, so make a double batch and get two meals for the effort of one.

If this sounds like a good idea, read on, my friend.

Since this a year of anything qualifies as A Project, I have to have A Plan, right? My plan is to post twice a month. Many of my favorite rice/bean recipes are already posted here, but I'm going to revisit them and tweak them if necessary. That will give me a few weeks' grace if the well starts to run dry. Not that that would ever happen... ahem. There may even be photos!

About that rice thing:

I've mentioned before that long-grain brown is my rice style of choice (most of the time.) Brown rice takes significantly longer to cook than white rice, and this is where my rice cooker shines. Every couple of weeks I set up a batch of brown rice in the cooker, wander off and get into all sorts of trouble, and when I remember to check it, it's done. I've also mentioned that I cook my brown rice at a straight 2:1 water to rice ratio so it's just done -- the individual grains aren't blown out. Then I freeze it in two cup portions in quart zip-top bags. Dump it in a bowl with a little bit of water, cover loosely, heat in the microwave for a few minutes, and it comes out quite nicely, thank you.

No rice cooker? Try this oven technique from Alton Brown.

And then there's the Dried Bean Issue. I've struggled over the years with varying degrees of success, but I've recently made some progress in this area, so maybe we'll talk about that, too.

Ready? Let the Year of Beans and Rice begin! I'll be back by the end of the month with a recipe, I promise.
(we all know how good I am at honoring those, don't we?)

Project Weeknight: Kinda-Brazilianish Beans & Rice

Since I stopped posting regularly I've had a devil of a time keeping up with new recipes I've tried, what I've liked, changes I made, and so on. I tried a new dish tonight that worked out so well that my son declared that it's going into the regular dinner rotation. I can't let this one get away!

It came to me via my friend Matt's blog* (where he linked to this recipe.) It's one of those dishes that is many times greater than the sum of its parts. Simple, fast, and delicious, just the way I like it.

Pinto beans, which we know and love, and bacon combine to almost remind one of the classic canned bean & bacon soup, always a favorite. The rice, cooked pilaf-style with onion, is a nice surprise.

I can rarely make a recipe as written, and this was no exception. Since this was our main dish, I used more bacon than called for but drained off half the fat before adding the garlic. You could omit the oil altogether and just rely on the bacon grease. I doubled the beans and added some refried beans (hey, they're pintos too!) instead of the traditional spoon-mashing step. I also used pre-cooked brown rice* I had in the freezer instead of cooking white rice from scratch, and it worked out great.

But be sure to read through the original recipe so you get the idea of how it should be done, ok? Check out Matt's blog, too, because he and his wife Holli are hilarious, adorable, and amazing. And I'm not even related to them, so you know it's true.

Geez, it's already taken me almost as long to write this as it did to make it, so let's get to it already!

Kinda-Brazilianish Beans & Rice, aka Matt Beans
via The {UN}eventful Life, adapted from Authentic Brazilian Cuisine

Serves 2, with some beans leftover.

Brazilianish Rice

1 Tablespoon oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cups pre-cooked brown rice, thawed if frozen
1/4 - 1/2 cup water
Salt to taste

Heat oil in non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook until it just starts to brown. Add rice, stir until heated through. Add water, bring to simmer. Reduce heat, partially cover, and cook (stirring occasionally) until water is absorbed. Remove from heat, cover, and set aside.

Brazilianish Beans

1 Tablespoon oil (opt.)
2 teaspoons (1-2 cloves) minced garlic
2 (thick) or 3 (thin) slices (uncooked) bacon, diced (or even more if you're so inclined)
2 cans pinto beans, rinsed well and drained
1/4 - 1/3 can refried (pinto) beans (opt.)
1/2 - 1 cup water
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in saucepan over medium heat, add bacon, and cook until almost done. Add garlic, cook another minute, then add pinto beans. You can mash some -- maybe 1/4? -- of the pintos with a spoon to thicken the dish, or you can add the refried beans. Add water, bring to a simmer, and cook, stirring occasionally, for at least 15 minutes, longer if you have time, to let the bacon-y essence permeate those beans. Add more water if necessary to keep it from scorching. The "gravy" should be at least as thick as heavy cream. Salt and pepper to taste.

I served it with completely un-traditional grated Monterey jack cheese and diced tomato. I'd have added avocado if I'd had one. We eat a lot of faux-Mexican so I knew these familiar touches would bring the dish squarely into my son's comfort zone. And it did!

* Oh yeah, about the rice: The amount of water you'll need depends on how 'cooked' your rice is. I make large batches of brown rice, portion it in two-cup bags, and stash them in the freezer. I use a straight 2:1 water:rice (brown rice usually calls for more water) so the rice grains are intact and are not clumpy at all, just barely done, I suppose. I used 1/2 cup of water in my pilaf and probably could have used more. If your rice is fully done and the grains are "blown-out" you may have to modify the pilaf-ing of it. Or just follow the original recipe. It's all good. Oh, so good.

Hold on to your hats: It's a mini-rant!

ATTENTION! I hereby decree that

If it calls for a can of 'cream of whatever' soup, it's not a recipe.

There, I said it. Been holding that one in for awhile.

This is pilfered from Linda @ Salty Seattle. She said "cake mix", but that's not nearly as bad as canned soup recipes. Not that they aren't tasty (I grew up on them and look how great I turned out!) but the nutrition is dismal enough to qualify as junk food. Serving a cake mix creation as the occasional dessert?* Eh, whatever. Serving 'cream of' crap as a source of nutrition? No.

(Special dispensation granted for Ides of Meatloaf, natch.)

But the larger issue, I think, is that I really am too old for browsing "Everything" Pinterest**. It takes all my will to not post self-righteous comments like "Cooking canned soup, chicken breast, and cream cheese in the crock pot for 8 hours doesn't turn it into food!" But that's another rant.

And that's why I'm here, sharing this with you, because if I scream it in my head one more time I might accidentally punch a random passer-by in the neck.

And... that's all I got.

* Speaking of dessert, here's a Weight Watchers-friendly mess I keep seeing on Pinterest: Box of cake mix, 20 oz Diet 7-up, top with Light Cool Whip. Food value? Bah, who needs it! Seriously, they'd be better off eating a spoonful of sugar. Worse, the alleged number of WW points is wrong by at least a factor of two. Also, here's a hint: If your cravings are strong enough to make this sound edible, maybe you ought to not FEED THEM.

** And if I see ONE MORE "smokey eye" pin... you do realize they all look EXACTLY the SAME, don't you?

GRAVY!

I don't go to IKEA very often (it's over an hour away, and somehow it costs me $500 each time) but I freaking love the meatballs, so I've taken to buying a couple bags of them when I visit. First time I did I also picked up a pouch of their gravy mix... and lost it. So I have these meatballs cooking away, AND NO GRAVY! What to do?

Why, search the interwebs, of course.

It's taken a few iterations, but here's what I have settled on as my favorite version:

Close-enough Swedish Meatball Gravy
(cobbled together from various recipes)

NOTE: Technically you're supposed to de-glaze the pan the (from scratch) meatballs were cooked in with the stock but that hasn't happened yet at my house.

1/2 cup dairy*
(*half&half, cream, or most of a 5 oz can of evap. milk <-- what I use)
2 Tblsp flour
1 cup beef stock*
(*I use a cup of water with good-quality beef soup base, aka bouillon)
1 Tblsp soy sauce
 Salt & Pepper


(opt. step 0.) De-glaze the meatball pan with the stock. Ha.

Heat the stock to boiling, Add flour to dairy, whisk till blended. Add slurry and and soy sauce to stock, return to boil, and simmer till thickened. Add s&p to taste.

Soy sauce? Yes, soy sauce.  Believe it or not, it shows up in multiple "authentic" recipes I found. I have also discovered that I like the evaporated milk version the best. Besides, evaporated milk is the perfect emergency coffee creamer, so go get some right now. Some recipes add a little nutmeg. Seems like a good idea, but I haven't tried it yet.

Make up some boiled or mashed potatoes, crack open the jar of lingonberry jam,and you're good to go. If I'm feeling generous, I'll saute up some cabbage to stand in for a vegetable.

Enjoy!

Mean-spirited observation of the day

So, does it really take a whole day to cook a couple of boneless chicken breasts in a can of "soup" and a block of cream cheese? In my universe, with the laws of physics as I understand them, it takes maybe 30-40 minutes, max. Sorry, but boiling that... amazing concoction for eight hours doesn't auto-magically turn it into "scratch" cooking. Your cat may have kittens in the oven, but it don't make 'em muffins.

I know of what I speak. I grew up on food like that. I cooked food like that for a couple of decades, back when we thought a white bagel bigger than your face was a good snack (apologies to my poor daughter) and Betty Crocker was a role model. But somewhere along the way I learned about sodium and the questionable-yet-pervasive practice we've developed of eating unpronounceable ingredients. I'm proof that a girl born and bred in the beige-food capital of the country can learn to cook real food (mostly) from scratch. A lazy girl, no less -- I do NOT enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, and I avoid it at all costs.

Seriously, it can be done. You don't have to take the word of a single crotchety old lady, either. There are lots of cool blogs written by hip young moms who are all over that shit.

Also, go watch Food, Inc.  Right now.

Bestest Leftover Soup

I keep forgetting to tell y'all about this: I discovered some while back that if you have, say, two cups of leftover Riso alla Pitoca and a quart or so of chicken stock, you can have a pretty damned amazing chicken and rice soup in a matter of moments. Who knew?

I'm sure it would work just as well with the Risotto di Zucca, or with any risotto, I suppose.

So there's your first tip of the year, and it's still January! Hope I can get some more out for you soon. It's been way too long, hasn't it?

Quick draw

Traffic on the way home. Walk in the door twenty minutes late.

Drop the purse on the counter, turn the oven on to 400 degrees. Hack a head of cauliflower into submission, drop on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, slide in the almost-preheated oven. Set timer for 15 minutes.

Open a caffeine-free diet soda and check email.

Wander back into the kitchen. Fill a saucepan with water and a generous pinch of salt. Cover, set on stove. Turn burner on high. Count out two servings on Costco frozen ravioli, chip a chunk of frozen pesto out of the container in the freezer and plop it in a small bowl.

Timer goes off. Stir cauliflower. Set timer for ten more minutes.

Stare off into space for a few minutes.

Water boils, ravioli goes in, pesto goes in microwave for ten seconds. Timer goes off, cauliflower comes out. Stir ravioli. It only takes about four minutes. Yell at the boy to wash his hands.

Dinner's only ten minutes late, hooray! And no drive-thrus involved. I call that a win.

Baby steps

I recently reached a milestone: I pulled out the bread machine and made a loaf of sandwich bread. This had been my husband's task, and I hadn't touched the machine since last August, when he got too ill to do it.

Apropos of nothing, it called to me the other day. The recipe was still stuck to the side of the fridge with my Dan Quayle magnet (long story), and there was enough whole wheat flour and buttermilk powder in the fridge to do one batch. There was still plenty of yeast in the freezer, but it had been well over a year old last August so I had doubts. But I was on a roll and going out right that second to buy fresh was not gonna happen. I crossed my fingers and forged ahead.

Three hours and twenty-seven minutes later, I had a slightly undersized, somewhat pale loaf on the counter. Close enough. All I could do was stare at it. I hadn't realized how much I had associated that process with my husband. That simple, pale loaf made me very happy.

I did restock ingredients, but I may have been a tad overenthusiastic. My son and I don't go through a lot of bread and I probably bought enough flour, etc. to last me into next year. But I keep the whole wheat flour in the fridge*, so no worries.

Feels good to reclaim that seemingly insignificant task. Pretty sure my husband would be happy about it, too.

*The oils in ww flour go rancid much more quickly at room temp. FWIW.
 

Blinded me with science

It's so freaking hard to figure out if a health or nutritional study currently being trumpeted by the media is worth paying any attention to. I pretty much have given up, and have decided to just stick to "real food" as much as I can -- making meals from building blocks as basic as I can manage. And overall I feel pretty good about what I shove in my face, and my son's, but I've always been a little concerned about soymilk.

I started buying soymilk when my son seemed to have problems with cow's milk. Then, as I learned more about what needs to be done to a cow to keep her producing milk year-round, how cows are not even designed to eat corn (primary component of commercially-raised cattle's diet), what they're given to counteract the effects of that diet, how obscenely powerful the dairy lobby is, how dairy is not even an optimal way to get calcium, and how Americans in particular consume WAAAY more dairy (and protein in general) than necessary, it became clear that I was going to keep buying soymilk.

Oh, I still love me some butter, I use cheese as a condiment, we eat yogurt (plain full-fat yogurt sweetened with strawberry jam is AWESOME!) and I do buy milk to use in certain recipes where it makes a difference, but dairy is not a daily requirement in my house. And for someone who grew up in Indiana then lived in Wisconsin for a spell, that's saying something.

Yet, still, I worried about the soy. Would my son grow manboobs? Was I flooding my system with obscene amounts of estrogen? How could I ever sift through the tons of press to find the real data? How could I tell which studies were genuine and which were marketing propaganda designed to play on our fears?

Waaaah!

Well, here's one little point of light. Today, Daniel at Casual Kitchen posted a link to this article by Leo Babuta at zenhabits.net that made me feel orders of magnitude better about my choice.

It just goes to show how easy it is for someone to write something in a science-y way that completely obscures the true agenda behind it. And how impossible it is for us to tell the difference.

Basically, I think we're screwed, but we still have to eat, so our house rule is "If it wouldn't have been recognized as food a hundred years ago, don't eat it." No, my Midwestern ancestors would not have known WTF soymilk was, but people in Japan have been making things out of it for centuries. Close enough.

BTW, as a former half-and-half addict, I've discovered that a 50/50 mix of vanilla soymilk and plain almond milk is an awesome coffee creamer. I haven't looked, but I bet if you read the label of non-dairy creamers, it's not too different. Except the ingredient list on the powdered stuff is about ten times longer.

FWIW...
 

Toxic

OK, I finally figured out how to break my Diet Coke habit. Say hello to my not-so-little friend:

For the last week or so I've been filling this bad boy, all 64 oz of him, up to the brim at the 7-Eleven... until today. Today I quit. Yeah, just like that.

The habit started when my husband was diagnosed with malignant (metastatic) melanoma, just about 11 months ago. The ritual carried me through the three months of his decline, his death, and the utter WTF-osity of the eight months that followed. And now it's officially over.

Here's the scoop: A couple of days ago I started feeling queasy, and it never quite went away. Last night I got this really weird metallic taste in my mouth, and no, it's not my braces. Somehow I just knew it was from the DC.

I was distressed. I didn't WANT to stop my habit. I'm not ready! But apparently my body is. I went to bed queasy and woke up queasy with that weird taste, like I was sucking on a metal washer. This morning even the thought of DC made me swallow real hard. Twice.

On my way into work I stopped at the drive-thru. Medium unsweetened tea, please. Could I live with that? I took a sip, and apparently I can.

I'm a little disappointed that it's not June 20th, approx. the anniversary of the diagnosis that started it all, but I'll just have to get over that.

Still got nothing against DC and I will enjoy it again, on occasion. But the required daily ritual dosing of myself with whatever-the-hell-that-shit-is-made-of is so over.

The body has spoken.
 

Doing The Math

So, yeah, I've been using the Costco weight loss shakes to wean myself off fast food lunches. It's been working pretty well, but I've been nagged by the sense that I've been drinking nothing more than YooHoo with a fancy label.

Today I finally crunched the numbers. Guess what? Turns out that about 1.7 of the 6.5 oz YooHoo drink boxes (plus 2T of protein powder) come pretty damned close to the values on the nutrition label of the Costco canned shake. It's short on fiber -- YooHoo has none -- but the shake only has 4 grams, just over 1/8th ounce, anyway. To be fair, I didn't compare vitamins, etc., but that's why we have multi-vitamins. What shocked me most was that the sugar grams were almost exactly the same.

**shudder**

Well, now I can't un-know that data, so it looks like the shakes are out. Reminds me of the day I discovered that Jiff peanut butter contained hydrogenated vegetable oil, aka Crisco. I swear, from that point on, I could feel it in there and haven't been able to buy it since.

So what else can I use for mindless lunches? And, while we're on the subject, how does my default smoothie recipe stack up?

Well, not surprisingly, my smoothie recipe plus some protein powder kicks the can to the curb. Also, it's a larger serving and has WAY more fiber. And, oh yeah, there's that 'whole food' thing, meaning it's actually made from real food.

But making a smoothie takes time. Also, the banana-heavy smoothie tends to oxidize and ends up looking uncomfortably like sewer sludge by lunchtime. OK at home, not so much on the road (or at the desk.) Is there anything else?

Why yes, there is. Turns out that good old Carnation Breakfast made with unsweetened almond milk and some protein powder is also a better choice than the canned shake, being higher in fiber and lower in sugar/calories. And if you go with the sugar-free variety, sugar and calories are lower still.

Fascinating, no?

After I kill the last few cans of shake (hell, I paid for 'em!) it's off to stock up on good old Instant Breakfast... excuse me, Breakfast Essentials, as it's now known. Sugar-free for me, regular for my 5'2", 90 lb. son, who can definitely use the extra calories for breakfast on non-smoothie days.

I always knew that math degree would come in handy someday.
 

Where is that saddle, anyway?

Is it still blogging if I only post every five months?

Not even going to bore you with what's been going on around here, but overall it has been OK. Not easy, but OK. And I am thrilled with OK.

I did drop a few pounds (depending on what day it is) and I manage to put something resembling food on the table most days. I've succeeded in cutting my fast food consumption way down (except for the Diet Coke) but the green smoothies fell off the list pretty quick. These days I'm using the Costco canned weight loss shakes for lunch. Perfect nutrition it's not, but if it keeps me out of the Burger King drive-through, I'm all for it.

The newest issue is that my son started ADD meds about month ago. It had made his school life SO much easier, however... it has cut his appetite. This is a problem because at 11 years old, he was 5'1" and 90 lbs when he started and he hasn't even begun having the massive growth spurts I know are coming.

So I'm trying to lose weight while trying to get him to gain. I'm cooking more meat (not a lot, but more than I was) and am sticking to things I know he likes, since without the driving force of hunger, he will simply not eat something if he's not attracted to it. Plus, he does leave more food on his plate, which means my bad habit of eating what he leaves behind has become an even worse habit.

And desserts. Did I mention desserts? Let's not go there right now, OK?

Anyway, I have a couple of new Project Weeknight recipes that I can count on him eating most of, most of the time. This one came about because I bought a box of 24 packages of ramen noodles at Costco. No, I don't know why.

Quasi-nutritious Ramen Soup

Per serving:
1 package of ramen noodles, flavor packed discarded
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 Tblsp. veg oil (or olive oil, or butter)
1/2 small onion, thinly sliced or julienned
1/4 cup julienned bell pepper strips (color of your choice)
1 cup (handful) thinly-sliced cabbage
1 sm.-med. carrot, thinly sliced or julienned
splash of sherry or white wine (or water)
salt & pepper to taste
soy sauce, chili garlic paste to taste (opt.)

Bring chicken stock to boil, add noodles and cook per package directions.

Heat oil/butter in a skillet on med-high. Saute the onions and bell pepper until slightly caramelized. Add carrots and cabbage, salt, pepper, and a splash of sherry/wine/water. Cover and let vegs steam for 3-4 minutes or until desired texture. Check seasoning of vegs and adjust.

To serve: Pour noodles and stock in bowl, top with vegs and desired condiments.

Notes:

• I am just guessing at the amount of vegs. Use whatever amount/proportions look right to you.


• Sometimes if I'm in a hurry I will nuke the carrot slices for a minute to get them started.


• Red pepper flakes would be nice. Maybe add those with the onions and bell pepper.


• I keep meaning to get some edamame to put in there.


• Instead of cabbage, you could throw a handful of fresh baby spinach in the bowl on top of the noodles.


• Hey, how about tofu cubes, or cooked chicken?

Not going to win any awards, but I figure it's a half-step up from Blue Box and frozen peas.
 

Surviving Catastrophic Life Changes

I'm sure most of you (if there are any of you left) already know that things went downhill fast and Hubby passed away near the end of September. It's impossible to believe it was almost two months ago.

I'm not going to whine about how much it sucks (lots) or how hard it is (very) 'cause I already have other outlets for that. Here, I can write about other things, like, say, food.

So let's do precisely that, shall we?

Once Hubby was no longer able to eat, my diet consisted mainly of Diet Coke and fast food. Surprisingly, I didn't gain any weight but didn't lose any either (blast you, comfort eating!) Then came condolences in the form of food gift baskets and of course I had to eat those. It would be rude not to, you know. Let's just say I got REALLY used to not cooking.

So now, two months post-apocalypse, I'm digging myself out of the trench, food-wise.

The first order of business has been to get back into getting real food on the table on weeknights. I am so grateful for my Project Weeknight archives! Yeah, I still pulled out a few more Blue Boxes than I'd like to admit, and once I even resorted to stacked cans of faux-Chinese food (FAIL!) but I'm getting there.

Now that the food gifts and Halloween candy are gone, I'm trying to get some weight off. Fast food has been officially demoted to emergency status only. I'm not quite ready to give up my daily Diet Coke, although this cold weather we're having is stifling my urge to run out and get a tall frosty one, IYKWIM.

Since lunches at work have been notoriously fast-food-centric, I'm using my Blendtec blender (LOVE!!) to make myself a green smoothie to take to work every day for lunch. It's only been a week, but the scale is starting to inch down just a bit.

Basic Green Smoothie
Based on Angela's Green Monster Smoothie and Alton Brown's Buff Smoothie

Makes ~32 fl. oz.

8 oz. frozen strawberries/mixed berries, by weight
4 oz. frozen mango or peaches, by weight
1 med. banana, sliced (~ 4 oz.) (see note)
2-4 oz. greens, by weight (see note)
12 fl. ounces milk of choice (I use unsweetened almond milk)
Other add-ins as desired (flaxseed, protein powder, whatever)

Blend following your blender directions, treating the frozen berries/mangoes as ice.

Notes:

• Since steamed greens are more easily digested, I buy raw kale and spinach, rough chop, and steam in the microwave. I then freeze them in zip-top bags in thin layers. Then I just break off what I need. I also sometimes include some romaine lettuce; raw, of course. It adds a really, um, earthy flavor, but I learned in my BAS days that romaine is amazingly full of nutrients so I suck it up.


• I buy bananas in large quantities, let them get fully ripe (or even a little past) then peel them and freeze them in a single layer in a zip-top bag.


• Also, since I am very lazy in the morning, on the weekends I'll portion out several zip-top sandwich bags containing 8 oz. frozen berries + 4 oz. frozen mangoes/peaches. Then all I have to do in the morning is grab one of those, one banana, break off some greens, and I'm ready to whirl.


• My blender instruction say to put the liquid and unfrozen stuff in first, then the frozen stuff on top. If I have frozen bananas, I thaw the frozen berries/mangoes in the microwave for a minute and put that in first, then slice the frozen banana on top. If I have a room temp banana I put it in first and the frozen fruit in last.

I don't know how long it's going to take me to get sick to death of these things, but if it gets me through the holidays, I'll be happy.

My latest discovery has been homemade Larabars. I completely burned out on bars during my briefly-successful-then-disastrous attempt at Atkins some years back so I'd never even had a Larabar, but for some reason I decided I had to try making some. They are fabulous and, miracle of miracles, my son loves them too. I made a small batch of Fudge Babies for dessert last night and they were perfect!

I'm taking the fact that I even care about real food a good sign. Here's hoping I can keep it going for awhile.
 

Where it's at

Hi, I'm back! Here's how I spent the last six weeks, in three acts:

Act I: Hubby gets cancer diagnosis. Ahhhh! Run around hysterically, rend garments, ululate a little (in private, of course). Tests are run, no one knows WTF is going on. Fall into depths of despair. Screw 2012 -- world will certainly end before that.

Act II: Information dribbles in. Puzzle pieces sssllllowly drift into place. Aha! We have a villain! To battle! Gird loins, check armaments, etc. Adrenaline is pumping. Treatment begins, side effects are minimal. We will vanquish the foe!

Act III: Wha-huh? It's gonna be weeks before we know if there are any results? Side effects start to appear. Hmmm... looks like this will be a marathon, not a sprint. Recalibrate stress hormones, stow battle gear and ashes/sackcloth. Try to get a handle on what The New Reality looks like.

Aaaand... cut to the present day.

Initially Hubby had a few weeks of ravenous appetite from massive doses of steroids but those days of him shoveling chow like a seventeeer-year-old are now but a distant memory. These days, the challenge is feeding someone who can't always tolerate the smell of food and can only eat a small amount at a time. Luckily (or unfortunately, really) there are lots of resources on the interwebs for info on feeding chemo patients and some are proving to be very helpful.

Overall, I'm torn between wanting to feed him only the absolutely healthiest food imaginable and indulging him with whatever comfort foods he wants, while being limited by what his stomach will allow. I am very fortunate that meat and fatty foods are pretty much a no-go for him which, conveniently enough, allows me to stick with the whole flexitarian thing (aside from the occasional trip to Dairy Queen, which I am not even sure contains dairy).

Since it's still summer (more or less) I think smoothies are going to be the mainstay of the next few weeks. I've been using my trusty stick blender but I'm actually considering spending the BIG BUCKS on a "real" blender, like a Vitamix or Blendtec. But YIKES! Have you seen how much those things cost?? However, if it will pulverize a green smoothie to the point where we don't have kale flags stuck to our teeth, it might be worth it. And, if I'm going to go for it, I should do it before the medical bills come in. I've seen some of the EOBs from the insurance company already and, well, you don't want to know.

Now that things have settled down slightly -- meaning nothing scary has happened this week -- I have to get my act together and start cooking consistently again. I also need to get back to posting recipes here on the blog. I didn't realize how much I count on this blog to help me keep my notes together until I went to recreate a successful dish only to realize I never posted it.

So I have a new focus, and I hope you're willing to come along. It's always more fun with someone riding shotgun.
 

As the world turns...

Funny how life sometimes take an abrupt left turn as you were leaning right, isn't it? Here we are, cruising along nicely after our wedding last November, and out of nowhere my husband finds out he has a fairly serious illness. So instead of beating ourselves up over those extra twenty ten pounds, we get to figure out how to deal with nastiness like tests and scans and treatments and specialists and clinics. I can say with authority that it's not much fun.

As for how this relates to what I put in my mouth, a few things stand out already. First, Hubby had been losing his appetite for a few weeks before The News, which means I have not been cooking as much. Add that to the stress of wrapping our heads around the whole mess and I've lost five pounds.

Secretly, I'm pleased, but I do NOT recommend this as a weight loss plan.

Second, I have fallen back into a few bad habits. I've probably had more Diet Coke in the last two weeks than I've had this year so far. And today I stopped at Sbux for the first time in months. Oh I know it could be worse, but these are not habits I want to pick up again long term. I can probably nip the Sbux thing in the bud but I'm afraid the DC thing is here to stay for awhile. One bright spot is that I seem fixated on fountain drinks only and am not lugging 24 packs home.

The storm has not yet hit the shore so I don't know how bad things are going to get, or how quickly, so if you don't hear from me for awhile, that's why. I will probably be writing on my other blog more frequently because I let myself use bad words over there.

(#&*$^#*&^#$&@#$@$!!)

(Sorry, just had to get that out of my system.)