ATTENTION! I hereby decree that
If it calls for a can of 'cream of whatever' soup, it's not a recipe.
There, I said it. Been holding that one in for awhile.
This is pilfered from Linda @ Salty Seattle. She said "cake mix", but that's not nearly as bad as canned soup recipes. Not that they aren't tasty (I grew up on them and look how great I turned out!) but the nutrition is dismal enough to qualify as junk food. Serving a cake mix creation as the occasional dessert?* Eh, whatever. Serving 'cream of' crap as a source of nutrition? No.
(Special dispensation granted for Ides of Meatloaf, natch.)
But the larger issue, I think, is that I really am too old for browsing "Everything" Pinterest**. It takes all my will to not post self-righteous comments like "Cooking canned soup, chicken breast, and cream cheese in the crock pot for 8 hours doesn't turn it into food!" But that's another rant.
And that's why I'm here, sharing this with you, because if I scream it in my head one more time I might accidentally punch a random passer-by in the neck.
And... that's all I got.
* Speaking of dessert, here's a Weight Watchers-friendly mess I keep seeing on Pinterest: Box of cake mix, 20 oz Diet 7-up, top with Light Cool Whip. Food value? Bah, who needs it! Seriously, they'd be better off eating a spoonful of sugar. Worse, the alleged number of WW points is wrong by at least a factor of two. Also, here's a hint: If your cravings are strong enough to make this sound edible, maybe you ought to not FEED THEM.
** And if I see ONE MORE "smokey eye" pin... you do realize they all look EXACTLY the SAME, don't you?
4.27.2012
GRAVY!
I don't go to IKEA very often (it's over an hour away, and somehow it costs me $500 each time) but I freaking love the meatballs, so I've taken to buying a couple bags of them when I visit. First time I did I also picked up a pouch of their gravy mix... and lost it. So I have these meatballs cooking away, AND NO GRAVY! What to do?
Why, search the interwebs, of course.
It's taken a few iterations, but here's what I have settled on as my favorite version:
Soy sauce? Yes, soy sauce. Believe it or not, it shows up in multiple "authentic" recipes I found. I have also discovered that I like the evaporated milk version the best. Besides, evaporated milk is the perfect emergency coffee creamer, so go get some right now. Some recipes add a little nutmeg. Seems like a good idea, but I haven't tried it yet.
Make up some boiled or mashed potatoes, crack open the jar of lingonberry jam,and you're good to go. If I'm feeling generous, I'll saute up some cabbage to stand in for a vegetable.
Enjoy!
Why, search the interwebs, of course.
It's taken a few iterations, but here's what I have settled on as my favorite version:
Close-enough Swedish Meatball Gravy
(cobbled together from various recipes)
NOTE: Technically you're supposed to de-glaze the pan the (from scratch) meatballs were cooked in with the stock but that hasn't happened yet at my house.
1/2 cup dairy*
(*half&half, cream, or most of a 5 oz can of evap. milk <-- what I use)
2 Tblsp flour
1 cup beef stock*
(*I use a cup of water with good-quality beef soup base, aka bouillon)
1 Tblsp soy sauce
Salt & Pepper
(opt. step 0.) De-glaze the meatball pan with the stock. Ha.
Heat the stock to boiling, Add flour to dairy, whisk till blended. Add slurry and and soy sauce to stock, return to boil, and simmer till thickened. Add s&p to taste.
Soy sauce? Yes, soy sauce. Believe it or not, it shows up in multiple "authentic" recipes I found. I have also discovered that I like the evaporated milk version the best. Besides, evaporated milk is the perfect emergency coffee creamer, so go get some right now. Some recipes add a little nutmeg. Seems like a good idea, but I haven't tried it yet.
Make up some boiled or mashed potatoes, crack open the jar of lingonberry jam,and you're good to go. If I'm feeling generous, I'll saute up some cabbage to stand in for a vegetable.
Enjoy!
1.26.2012
Mean-spirited observation of the day
So, does it really take a whole day to cook a couple of boneless chicken breasts in a can of "soup" and a block of cream cheese? In my universe, with the laws of physics as I understand them, it takes maybe 30-40 minutes, max. Sorry, but boiling that... amazing concoction for eight hours doesn't auto-magically turn it into "scratch" cooking. Your cat may have kittens in the oven, but it don't make 'em muffins.
I know of what I speak. I grew up on food like that. I cooked food like that for a couple of decades, back when we thought a white bagel bigger than your face was a good snack (apologies to my poor daughter) and Betty Crocker was a role model. But somewhere along the way I learned about sodium and the questionable-yet-pervasive practice we've developed of eating unpronounceable ingredients. I'm proof that a girl born and bred in the beige-food capital of the country can learn to cook real food (mostly) from scratch. A lazy girl, no less -- I do NOT enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, and I avoid it at all costs.
Seriously, it can be done. You don't have to take the word of a single crotchety old lady, either. There are lots of cool blogs written by hip young moms who are all over that shit.
Also, go watch Food, Inc. Right now.
I know of what I speak. I grew up on food like that. I cooked food like that for a couple of decades, back when we thought a white bagel bigger than your face was a good snack (apologies to my poor daughter) and Betty Crocker was a role model. But somewhere along the way I learned about sodium and the questionable-yet-pervasive practice we've developed of eating unpronounceable ingredients. I'm proof that a girl born and bred in the beige-food capital of the country can learn to cook real food (mostly) from scratch. A lazy girl, no less -- I do NOT enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, and I avoid it at all costs.
Seriously, it can be done. You don't have to take the word of a single crotchety old lady, either. There are lots of cool blogs written by hip young moms who are all over that shit.
Also, go watch Food, Inc. Right now.
1.15.2012
Bestest Leftover Soup
I keep forgetting to tell y'all about this: I discovered some while back that if you have, say, two cups of leftover Riso alla Pitoca and a quart or so of chicken stock, you can have a pretty damned amazing chicken and rice soup in a matter of moments. Who knew?
I'm sure it would work just as well with the Risotto di Zucca, or with any risotto, I suppose.
So there's your first tip of the year, and it's still January! Hope I can get some more out for you soon. It's been way too long, hasn't it?
I'm sure it would work just as well with the Risotto di Zucca, or with any risotto, I suppose.
So there's your first tip of the year, and it's still January! Hope I can get some more out for you soon. It's been way too long, hasn't it?
11.21.2011
Quick draw
Traffic on the way home. Walk in the door twenty minutes late.
Drop the purse on the counter, turn the oven on to 400 degrees. Hack a head of cauliflower into submission, drop on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, slide in the almost-preheated oven. Set timer for 15 minutes.
Open a caffeine-free diet soda and check email.
Wander back into the kitchen. Fill a saucepan with water and a generous pinch of salt. Cover, set on stove. Turn burner on high. Count out two servings on Costco frozen ravioli, chip a chunk of frozen pesto out of the container in the freezer and plop it in a small bowl.
Timer goes off. Stir cauliflower. Set timer for ten more minutes.
Stare off into space for a few minutes.
Water boils, ravioli goes in, pesto goes in microwave for ten seconds. Timer goes off, cauliflower comes out. Stir ravioli. It only takes about four minutes. Yell at the boy to wash his hands.
Dinner's only ten minutes late, hooray! And no drive-thrus involved. I call that a win.
Drop the purse on the counter, turn the oven on to 400 degrees. Hack a head of cauliflower into submission, drop on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, slide in the almost-preheated oven. Set timer for 15 minutes.
Open a caffeine-free diet soda and check email.
Wander back into the kitchen. Fill a saucepan with water and a generous pinch of salt. Cover, set on stove. Turn burner on high. Count out two servings on Costco frozen ravioli, chip a chunk of frozen pesto out of the container in the freezer and plop it in a small bowl.
Timer goes off. Stir cauliflower. Set timer for ten more minutes.
Stare off into space for a few minutes.
Water boils, ravioli goes in, pesto goes in microwave for ten seconds. Timer goes off, cauliflower comes out. Stir ravioli. It only takes about four minutes. Yell at the boy to wash his hands.
Dinner's only ten minutes late, hooray! And no drive-thrus involved. I call that a win.
6.09.2011
Baby steps
I recently reached a milestone: I pulled out the bread machine and made a loaf of sandwich bread. This had been my husband's task, and I hadn't touched the machine since last August, when he got too ill to do it.
Apropos of nothing, it called to me the other day. The recipe was still stuck to the side of the fridge with my Dan Quayle magnet (long story), and there was enough whole wheat flour and buttermilk powder in the fridge to do one batch. There was still plenty of yeast in the freezer, but it had been well over a year old last August so I had doubts. But I was on a roll and going out right that second to buy fresh was not gonna happen. I crossed my fingers and forged ahead.
Three hours and twenty-seven minutes later, I had a slightly undersized, somewhat pale loaf on the counter. Close enough. All I could do was stare at it. I hadn't realized how much I had associated that process with my husband. That simple, pale loaf made me very happy.
I did restock ingredients, but I may have been a tad overenthusiastic. My son and I don't go through a lot of bread and I probably bought enough flour, etc. to last me into next year. But I keep the whole wheat flour in the fridge*, so no worries.
Feels good to reclaim that seemingly insignificant task. Pretty sure my husband would be happy about it, too.
*The oils in ww flour go rancid much more quickly at room temp. FWIW.
Apropos of nothing, it called to me the other day. The recipe was still stuck to the side of the fridge with my Dan Quayle magnet (long story), and there was enough whole wheat flour and buttermilk powder in the fridge to do one batch. There was still plenty of yeast in the freezer, but it had been well over a year old last August so I had doubts. But I was on a roll and going out right that second to buy fresh was not gonna happen. I crossed my fingers and forged ahead.
Three hours and twenty-seven minutes later, I had a slightly undersized, somewhat pale loaf on the counter. Close enough. All I could do was stare at it. I hadn't realized how much I had associated that process with my husband. That simple, pale loaf made me very happy.I did restock ingredients, but I may have been a tad overenthusiastic. My son and I don't go through a lot of bread and I probably bought enough flour, etc. to last me into next year. But I keep the whole wheat flour in the fridge*, so no worries.
Feels good to reclaim that seemingly insignificant task. Pretty sure my husband would be happy about it, too.
*The oils in ww flour go rancid much more quickly at room temp. FWIW.
6.03.2011
Blinded me with science
It's so freaking hard to figure out if a health or nutritional study currently being trumpeted by the media is worth paying any attention to. I pretty much have given up, and have decided to just stick to "real food" as much as I can -- making meals from building blocks as basic as I can manage. And overall I feel pretty good about what I shove in my face, and my son's, but I've always been a little concerned about soymilk.
I started buying soymilk when my son seemed to have problems with cow's milk. Then, as I learned more about what needs to be done to a cow to keep her producing milk year-round, how cows are not even designed to eat corn (primary component of commercially-raised cattle's diet), what they're given to counteract the effects of that diet, how obscenely powerful the dairy lobby is, how dairy is not even an optimal way to get calcium, and how Americans in particular consume WAAAY more dairy (and protein in general) than necessary, it became clear that I was going to keep buying soymilk.
Oh, I still love me some butter, I use cheese as a condiment, we eat yogurt (plain full-fat yogurt sweetened with strawberry jam is AWESOME!) and I do buy milk to use in certain recipes where it makes a difference, but dairy is not a daily requirement in my house. And for someone who grew up in Indiana then lived in Wisconsin for a spell, that's saying something.
Yet, still, I worried about the soy. Would my son grow manboobs? Was I flooding my system with obscene amounts of estrogen? How could I ever sift through the tons of press to find the real data? How could I tell which studies were genuine and which were marketing propaganda designed to play on our fears?
Waaaah!
Well, here's one little point of light. Today, Daniel at Casual Kitchen posted a link to this article by Leo Babuta at zenhabits.net that made me feel orders of magnitude better about my choice.
It just goes to show how easy it is for someone to write something in a science-y way that completely obscures the true agenda behind it. And how impossible it is for us to tell the difference.
Basically, I think we're screwed, but we still have to eat, so our house rule is "If it wouldn't have been recognized as food a hundred years ago, don't eat it." No, my Midwestern ancestors would not have known WTF soymilk was, but people in Japan have been making things out of it for centuries. Close enough.
BTW, as a former half-and-half addict, I've discovered that a 50/50 mix of vanilla soymilk and plain almond milk is an awesome coffee creamer. I haven't looked, but I bet if you read the label of non-dairy creamers, it's not too different. Except the ingredient list on the powdered stuff is about ten times longer.
FWIW...
I started buying soymilk when my son seemed to have problems with cow's milk. Then, as I learned more about what needs to be done to a cow to keep her producing milk year-round, how cows are not even designed to eat corn (primary component of commercially-raised cattle's diet), what they're given to counteract the effects of that diet, how obscenely powerful the dairy lobby is, how dairy is not even an optimal way to get calcium, and how Americans in particular consume WAAAY more dairy (and protein in general) than necessary, it became clear that I was going to keep buying soymilk.
Oh, I still love me some butter, I use cheese as a condiment, we eat yogurt (plain full-fat yogurt sweetened with strawberry jam is AWESOME!) and I do buy milk to use in certain recipes where it makes a difference, but dairy is not a daily requirement in my house. And for someone who grew up in Indiana then lived in Wisconsin for a spell, that's saying something.
Yet, still, I worried about the soy. Would my son grow manboobs? Was I flooding my system with obscene amounts of estrogen? How could I ever sift through the tons of press to find the real data? How could I tell which studies were genuine and which were marketing propaganda designed to play on our fears?
Waaaah!
Well, here's one little point of light. Today, Daniel at Casual Kitchen posted a link to this article by Leo Babuta at zenhabits.net that made me feel orders of magnitude better about my choice.
It just goes to show how easy it is for someone to write something in a science-y way that completely obscures the true agenda behind it. And how impossible it is for us to tell the difference.
Basically, I think we're screwed, but we still have to eat, so our house rule is "If it wouldn't have been recognized as food a hundred years ago, don't eat it." No, my Midwestern ancestors would not have known WTF soymilk was, but people in Japan have been making things out of it for centuries. Close enough.
BTW, as a former half-and-half addict, I've discovered that a 50/50 mix of vanilla soymilk and plain almond milk is an awesome coffee creamer. I haven't looked, but I bet if you read the label of non-dairy creamers, it's not too different. Except the ingredient list on the powdered stuff is about ten times longer.
FWIW...
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