Donkey on the edge

I can't believe I'm actually considering this...

After whining profusely about by weight and swearing up and down (well, OK, here) that I was not going to do any more diet gimmicks, I am, uh, considering a diet gimmick.

Why? One word: Desperation.

Since I wrote that post almost five months ago, I'm even heavier. I've had to buy larger pants, the first time I've ever worn this size. I'm afraid to look through my journals to verify it, but I think I'm at the weight I was when I walked into the hospital to deliver my daughter almost 27 years ago. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.

So what happened? As far as I can figure, the mostly-meatless diet worked fine when I was eating lots of veggies, but since I got burned on Big-Ass Salads, my food selections have morphed into the mostly-carb diet. Mainly good carbs, but still too many carbs. And have I mentioned I have a problem with carbs? I teeter on the edge of insulin resistance and somewhere along the way I kinda forgot about that part. Oopsie! My bad.

Something has to change, and I can't get a grip on it without sticking my pole in the sand and declaring This Is It.

I will probably start back on Weight Watchers since I'm a Lifetime Member from 20 years (and 40 pounds) ago. It seems like the least radical choice. But in the short term I have this very strong urge to do something drastic, to jump start the process. Mentally more than physically, really.

So... (gulp!) I'm actually considering doing the Shakeology thing; in particular, the three-day 'cleanse' I learned about from a former co-worker. I know, I know... it's drastic and extreme (and expensive!!) but I can't find any bad press about it on the interwebs and it seems like the safest drastic thing I can find.

Please note I'm not a believer in the whole 'cleanse' thing and the flushing of all these imaginary (and somehow unquantifiable) 'toxins', but the idea of drawing a line in the sand, drinking what seem to be fairly well-balanced shakes (blended with fruits and almond or soy milk) three times a day -- with salads + lean protein for dinner -- for three days, and maybe seeing the number on the scale go down for a change? It's pretty damned appealing.

And yes, I am that desperate.

I have two sample servings of the Shakeology shakes in hand, and if they are the least bit palatable, I may pay the big bucks and try it. Then I'll go back to Weight Watchers, I promise.

So here we are, two years after I started this blog to chronicle my last major weight loss initiative. I enjoyed a short run of success, a long slide into denial, and now I'm admitting defeat. The roller coaster has indeed gone all the way back around. Hate to say it, but I can't stay here, so it looks like I'm taking 'er around one more time.

Buckle up your seat belts, folks! Hey, it'll be fun. Besides, it will give me something to write about.


1 comment:

Kathy Miller said...

If you read some of the books on whole foods, it makes me believe the real key to maintaining a reasonable weight is in eating more good protein and a certain amount of healthy fat in the daily diet. Too many carbs are just making us fat and don't satisfy our hunger. I think the food pyramid really screwed up this country's notion of a healthy diet. I sure noticed that on the UK trip. I was eating more protein than usual in the mornings so I'd not get wobbly before we stopped for lunch. Lost about 3.5 pounds in 10 days... eating that way and doing more walking than my normal. When I got home and on the scale I was shocked.

I've lost nearly ten pounds since January and that is mostly from working in the garden and trying not to be too stupid with my eating. If I seriously ate better, I might see more weight loss sooner, but this is okay.

Even at that... my former fat weight that sounds great right now is probably a little more than when I was ready to deliver my first child. We'll never get back to our high school weights unless something awful happens to us. 150 sounds pretty decent to me at the moment! 145 would be even better but I don't know if I'll get down that far.

Enough of my ramble... whatever you do... good luck with it! :-)